Making of “the Bitter One”
As my creative project for my “Feminist Philosophy” class, I have chosen to make music about what we have covered in our classes, so I made “The Bitter One”. I have realized changes in me in terms of how I analyze what I come to face within this world. Another tremendous contribution was many articles gave me different perspectives and wiped off some of my doubts. I wanted both to express myself and make others think more about these fundamental issues. This is why I was very careful with every process, at the same time trying to protect the flow of creativity.
This blog post is, in fact, my final paper. I just made some minor changes in order for it to be understood more clearly. I will first analyze the lyrics and their meanings. Later on, I will give my lyrics’ theoretical background and how I find them to be relatable to some papers. Then, I will proceed with how it was for me to write and make this music, “what difficulties and experiences I had?” to be precise. I’ll finish it with a comprehensive conclusion. So bear with me, It’s not that long anyway. lol
Lyrics are right below and the papers that I’m referencing to while analyzing the lyrics are at the end of the post!c
Lyrics and Their Meanings
First Verse
Before I started writing down the lyrics I knew I wanted to write something comprehensive. I love specificity in songs. However, I didn’t think I could focus on one specific topic and not write about others. I first wrote down the 2 verses at the beginning of the song. In these 2 verses, I’m meaning many things. I believe another fellow student that took this class would understand all the underlying meanings in it. Otherwise, some of them may look unmeaningful.
The first verse is mainly about how to acknowledge that women were repressed in history. However, many believe that those days are over. We still see this repression in more subtle ways through the writing of history, labeling in literary, turning a blind eye in biology.
As Tuana puts forward in her article “Coming to Understand: Orgasm and Epistemology of Ignorance” it is an epistemology of ignorance (2004.) Tuana portrays how women’s sexuality is a subject that is usually undermined while we are consistently learning and give importance as a society to male genitalia, penis. She later states that consequently, it is a way of controlling women. As a result, I ask in my lyrics why some people are so blind to see that when we talk about equality we don’t only talk about it for us but also for the people of past and future. In the end, we stand on the shoulders of those who started the fight. That’s why I finish that verse by indicating we are going to have that talk because we have our dignity.
Second Verse
Another article, “Situated Knowledge” by Haraway gave me a clear perspective on how we think science to be “objective” is in fact not true, again it has its own place in this systematic repression. In the second verse, I use the term “western chivalry.” I meant this term to be in place for many thoughts. One was about how Haraway states history is a story Westerns tell each other, science is a power field, content is the form. (1988) This line is in fact like the theoretical background of the first two verses. Women are missing in history, biology, science, literary etc. On a broader perspective, western people like to present their history and values as universal while thinking they are the civilized ones. What contradicts in here is that the fact that they impose their values to different cultures indicates their bigotry. I finish that verse with this thought.
While writing about western values, “western chivalry” also took me back to Narayan’s article “The Project of Feminist Epistemology”. After reading it, I knew I wanted to include her article in my creative project. I say “suspicious of your sympathy” in the second verse. In here I was, in fact, thinking about Narayan’s words of how as a nonwestern feminist, there is this uncomfortable dichotomy. Some western feminists’ expectations on how we should obey their “superior” values and when we criticize something from our culture, their “sympathy”. That’s why It makes me suspicious of their sympathy as I wrote in my lyrics.
Third Verse
I will analyze the bridge and chorus at the end. Therefore, I am continuing with the third verse where I start with some significant names of women in history. If my melody let me, I wanted to use many other names especially likes of Lorde. However, for the sake of my melody I’ve used Virginia Woolf who I think is a very important figure in western women’s history considering the contents of her writing in the years she started.
I added Simone De Beauvoir as a representation of women’s crucial place as thinkers. As the last name, I’ve added Sylvia Plath. She mesmerizes me by her intelligence and how she achieved so much in her life. Her tragic end is another reason why I wanted to include her name. The fact that her last name rhymes with the end of my next sentence “applaud” was another bonus I couldn’t ignore.
In that verse, I mainly try to remind people that all these names that we applaud now once were ignored. There are many examples in the history of how women writers had to hide behind their initials or fake names. What I also try to remind people with “hiding behind initials” line is that to this day still continues. The latest example I can think of to be J.K. Rowling
Bridge
In the first bridge, I propose that perhaps it’s the time we acknowledge this ongoing systematic repression and the labels we put ahead. I finish by saying I see the peace you offer but let me speak now. This finishing line is a reaction to historical peace offerings that are in fact other ways of controlling women. In the article “Man of Reason” Llyod points out this fact by saying the change in the way people approached reason and intuition didn’t increase women’s value it has resulted in another problem, pedestalizing. As an appearance making women holly and superior, when we dig deep we see the dirt. As Llyod says, it was one of the means of complementing men’s existence. That’s why I try to have this sarcastic voice in that line by saying “I love the peace you offer but I say”. I’m actually trying to indicate with that sarcastic tone that they cannot fool us with a fake truce.
In the second bridge, I say “trying to get the most of things”. What I mean with this line is rooted down to Narayan’s article I mentioned above. She proposes that we as nonwestern feminists live in two worlds that sometimes can have incompatible grounds. She talks about how it is okay to try to get the best of both worlds. A concept that was developed in western culture is, of course, going to have some adjustment issues. However, It doesn’t make it less of ours. I finish the bridge by saying all we need is a little bit of harmony and a riot. Harmony, for everyone who sees the injustice upon all minority groups. And a riot to make us moving with determination to never stop.
Chorus
Lastly, I’ll dwell on my choruses. In the first chorus, I’m trying to find someone to pull a stunt on this system, distract us from this romance that we were thought for years so that we can finally dance, sing and take a chance. However, as the song proceeds, I change the first line to “thinking maybe I’m the bitter one.” It’s, in fact, an indication of a realization I wish upon everyone. Never wait for someone, be that one. And it’s likely that you will be labeled as a “bitter one”. I use this term as a mean of owning my narrative and all the labels I might get tagged on in the process.
In the second part of my chorus, I now embrace everyone and remind us that feminism is not only about women. It’s supposed to be a voice for all groups that are repressed by this patriarchy, such as different cultures, ethnicities and LGBTQ. At this time in human history, even though some still insist on not acknowledging it, we are way over living in binary. And I mean this in every aspect.
In the last sentence of this chorus, I say “we feel with affection”. This is, in fact, a throwback to the wonderfully written words of Lorde’s “Poetry is not a Luxury” (1985) where she says “I feel therefore I am free.”
Literally, Making of “The Bitter One”
Making of this song was at first, quite hard for me. I wanted people to understand some fundamental ideas but I also like to hide behind metaphors and broad terms. I somehow did both of these in this song. At first, I wanted to write about a specific topic but then I’ve realized this is my chance to make all I’ve learned permanently for me and make some people think of important subjects. Therefore, I wrote as I wanted to on broader subjects.
The moment I started writing I enjoyed every step. I was anxious about the chorus, I wanted it to be effective but not depressive. I don’t know If I achieved my aims but while recording the feelings I got from it satisfied me.
In terms of melody making, I first tried starting with a melody I had before. However, It was a depressive tune I immediately stopped. I wanted serious, happy, sarcastic. All in one melody. It wasn’t easy. After I wrote down the first two verses I came up with a melody I liked with my ukulele. But I only had a melody for verses. And I can’t continue to write down without a melody. I almost always pull both of them together in my music making processes. Hence, after some tryouts I came up with both melody and lines, I started connecting some of the lines I wrote down before the melody. It was like matching puzzle pieces.
I’ve spent so much time on recording because I wanted to release this music as a side project for people to hear, and here we are!! 🙂 I’ve added so many vocals I wanted it to be loud. I finish the song suddenly because I felt like there shouldn’t be an obvious end to the song considering It’s a representation of Feminist Philosophy for me.
So…
The process of making this song was not easy for me. However, I never expected easy. When we are not choosing to be ignorant everything starts to have a whole new meaning. I believe it’s both a gift and a curse. I cannot watch or read romance as I used to. Considering what I get in return I could say it’s more than a fair trade.
Feminism is a riot and a harmony I had the honors of knowing and feeling a part of especially these last two years. Having a chance to express myself in a way that I find to be the most effective for me was the best experience of that semester in uni. This project gave me hope for the future of feminism.
I hope we all can become a “Bitter One” to get free from all kinds of boundaries and shit people put us through!
You can download and stream the Bitter One from links down below or any other music market
Spotify, iTunes, Apple Music, Google Play, Amazon, Tidal, Deezer
Articles that I have learned so much and made me think A LOT which inspired my lyrics are down below,
- Haraway, D. (1988). Situated Knowledges: The Science Question in Feminism and the Privilege of Partial Perspective
- Llyod, G. (1979). Man Of Reason
- Lorde, A. (1985). Poetry is not a Luxury
- Narayan, U. (1989). The project of feminist epistemology: Perspectives from a nonwestern feminist
- Tuana, N. (2004). Coming to Understand: Orgasm and the Epistemology of Ignorance. Hypatia